10 Awesome Things about Having a Miscarriage

1. Visiting your OB lab office to get blood drawn multiple times amongst all the happy mothers to be with their glowing faces and growing bellies.
2. Having your male colleagues repeatedly ask you why you had to take a sick day.
3. Your family all pretending like it never happened, let’s just talk about something else!
4. Getting to go back to using giant maxi pads, just like your first period in middle school.
5. Not having to finish filling out the pages of your “Belly Book”.
6. Packing up your maternity clothes again, who wants to wear comfortable elastic waist pants anyways?
7. Knowing that your pregnancy was “never meant to be”, it’s so comforting!
8. Those daily reminders of “how big your baby is today”, good thing your baby doesn’t exist anymore and you don’t have to worry about figuring out how big is a kumquat, really??
9. Telling your spouse he doesn’t have to worry about that “Doctors Appointment” he forgot off his calendar, no need to get an ultrasound of an empty uterus. Oh, and don't forget having to answer the question of "how many pregnancies have you had?" until the end of time. 
10. Paying bills for multiple doctor visits and lab tests all for a baby you’ll never have. OK this one actually DOES suck. 😉


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BEFORE BABY

   
Ahhh the carefree baby-free days. I LOVE my daughter and would never trade her for ANYTHING.
However a coworker of mine is about to deliver and asked me for suggestions of what I would do before baby arrives.... 

My recommendations for some pre-baby fun:
·         Get a hair cut
·         Go grocery shopping
·         Get a mani / pedi
·         Watch a movie!
·         Go TO the movies!
·         Go for a walk by myself
·         Have a nice long dinner out with my husband
·         SLEEP IN!!!
·         Take a loooooong shower

I love my baby dearly and love my mommy life, but these are things I recommend for those child-free days before baby arrives. You won't WANT to do these things after your sweet child is in your life because as hard it is sounds to believe, I would rather push my daughter in a swing at the park than get a pedicure. It's true. Love you, baby.

TEXT4BABY

In my first trimester, my insurance provider recommended signing up for this free text notification service-

Sign up HERE:

https://m.text4baby.org/sign-up.php

I have found it very helpful through pregnancy and now taking care of baby, with reminders for appointments and tips for taking care of yourself.

Are you pregnant? 

Have a baby? 

Are you a grandparent?

Here is an example of texts I receive as a parent:

Sign up today for customized messages!

https://m.text4baby.org/sign-up.php

Originally Posted: 4/4/2014

PREGNANCY CARE PACKAGE

Originally posted: 02/17/2014

A little less than a year ago, shortly after I told her I was pregnant, my sister sent me a pregnancy care package (read about it here:  Sharing the News, Part One).

So when my sister-in-law announced she was pregnant, I packed up my maternity clothes for her to borrow and then sent her a pregnancy care package of some of my favorites items from my pregnancy:

(This post contains Affiliate Links)

1)  earth mama angel baby body butter. 
My mom gave me this and I loved the way it smelled, very natural smelling and it made me happy when I was sometimes feeling nauseous.

2) pregnancy countdown book. 
A page for every day, what more could you ask for?!

3) preggie pop drops. 
Yummy little candies you can discreetly pop in your mouth when you're feeling a little vomit-y, or you just want something yummy! My sister included these so I carried on the tradition.

4) saltines. 
They are the best for upset tummies and for people who like salt.

5) bra extenders. 
You can keep wearing all your beloved bras even as your chest is expanding with these great invention!

6) tums. 
I had heartburn from the moment of conception. Tums were a esophagus saver!

It was so fun to pass along a "sisterly" tradition!


ExpectingHappiness is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com 

GUIDE TO GETTING PREGNANT

Originally Posted on 5/6/13

It's just not as easy as those Teen Moms make it seem, especially when you are in your 30's or 40's. 

Here's my advice for getting pregnant, I know everyone is different, but this came from a  few recommendations from my sister, lots of reading on the internet, and books (see below) that I ordered from Amazon.

(This post contains Affiliate Links)

So, for my married friends who have not yet dove head first into the world of parenthood, whenever you are ready, here's what I recommend-

Read "An Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant" by Jean M. Twenge. It is the best no-nonsense book for impatient people, and she gives very good practical advice on interpreting your Clearblue easy monitor. I am definitely an impatient woman and she made me feel totally sane for being obsessed with my ovulation dates. I am confident that this book played a large role in getting pregnant in 2013 in less than 5 months. 

Purchase and use the Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor (CEFM), it makes things so much easier. I was lucky to receive this free from my sister (they don't recommend sharing the monitor but I ignored that warning). This was also a large part in determining those exact ideal dates for conception. It seems expensive but when you are seeing those two lines the cost seems minimal. 

Order some of these cheap WONDFO ovulation predictor kits (OPK). Also buy a huge pack of their pregnancy tests. I recommend this awesome combo pack. These are the kinds that the doctors office use and require a little cup to dip them into but for the obsessive testers this can save you tons of money. I did get a positive using this test the same day that I received a positive on the First Response tests. 

Don't buy pregnancy tests with blue lines, they are terrible and have strong reputation for false positives. Stick with First Response with the two pink lines, they are the most reliable. Digitals are good too but it takes longer to get a positive result. The digital tests wait until they reach a certain threshold to give you that "Positive" read. With the pink ones you can hold them up to a window or a bright light like a crazy person and try to find that second pink line. 

You are going to test too early, and it's going to be negative, and you are going to be really disappointed. You have to either get used to having false negatives, or learn to wait. I just got used to the negatives because I couldn't wait (and good thing too because I got my positive result fairly early, right at the earliest day that First Response will guarantee a result).

Check out the website- www.countdowntopregnancy.com  An amazing place with all sorts of statistics and thousands of photos of other people's ovulation and pregnancy tests that you can vote on whether you think they look positive or negative. You can post your own and have people vote too! This is for all you early testers. 

Download the Fertility Friend App, try out the premium features, you are going to want to keep these. It is worth the $20-30 it costs for a few months subscription to have the detailed analysis that tells you exactly what is going on with your body.


You are going to tell someone you are "trying"! And when they say "Don't try TOO hard", or "Don't worry it will happen", or "Don't forget it takes most healthy couples 6 months to conceive"- know that they mean well, but those things usually don't make you feel better. Just ignore the advice and know that any good book will say that you cannot try too hard and until they go through it- they don't realize how long 6 months, heck even 2 months, seems when you are going through this!

You will start hearing stories of people that it "happened on the first try", or "was just a happy accident"! You may become slightly annoyed with these people.

There are tons of vitamins and supplements out there that supposedly help with fertility. I started taking Vitafusion Gummy Prenatal Vitamins from the first day we even thought about trying to get pregnant. Then I started adding in more of the other supplements - B6, Evening Primrose Oil, Acidophilus. I drank tons of grapefruit juice (supposedly that helps), and for the most part I stopped drinking (except for special occasions).

Go see your doctor- get up to date on all of your immunizations, tell them you want to get pregnant. They can give you proper medical advice (my advice here is just what worked for me, it is not medical advice).

Go see your dentist- you want to get any dental work out of the way before you are pregnant.

Other Books to Read:
Taking Charge of Your Fertility, 

by Toni Wechsler.

Get Ready to Get Pregnant: Your Complete Prepregnancy Guide to Making a Smart and Healthy Baby, 

by Michael C. Lu.

Before Your Pregnancy: A 90-Day Guide for Couples on How to Prepare for a Healthy Conception, 

by Amy Ogle.

Movies to watch:
Knocked Up
What to Expect
Look Who's Talking
Father of the Bride, Part Two
The Baby Makers
Friends with Kids

Movies to avoid:
Sliding Doors
Battle in Seattle
The Time Travelers Wife

Note: I purposely wrote this all down before I found out that I was pregnant so that I could accurately capture the frustration of the process. I already have a much more optimistic view on the whole situation.

ExpectingHappiness is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com 

WHY YOUR BIRTH TEAM NEEDS A DOULA

I am very excited to have my wonderful and very smart cousin, Anna Kemp, guest posting today. My birth experience was relatively uncomplicated one, but there are several things that I wish I could have done differently and that I wanted done differently. There is so much going on in the delivery room that it is hard to think straight, and your spouse probably can't think straight either. You are about to become a mother, he is about to become a father, you are in pain, you are excited, you are overwhelmed.

I wish I had a doula to be the "manager" of my birth experience, and after reading this post by Anna- I think you'll want one, too!

LAST TIME I OVULATED, I GOT PREGNANT

Am I pregnant now? No! 

That picture taken was back in February 2013 
http://www.expectinghappiness.com/2013/05/getting-pregnant.html

Do the math for yourself, that is 28 months of glorious period-free living. It's no secret that we aren't in a rush to have a second, so this has been great. This wonderful phenomenon is called Natural Child Spacing and "Ecological Breastfeeding".

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Stay fabulous my friends!

 

Lessons Learned

Every so often I think of something I would do slightly differently if I could have. So in order to remember these "constructive criticisms" for myself, I'm noting them in this blog post. Maybe they'll help some of the new moms out there at the same time!

(Note: We plan to have another baby some day, but not right now, hence why I need to write this stuff down, it might be a WHILE! I want to give my body a bare minimum of 18 months to recooperate)

- Be better prepared for labor. My labor progressed VERY fast before I could even get to the hospital. I had no idea what to do since I was just counting on my epidural to get me through. I did not think about what to do before epidural, but next time, I will be prepared.

- Have someone take pictures of YOU with your baby. We had many visitors come to the Hopsital and they all of course wanted pictures with Keira, but we only got a couple of us with her. Put yourselves first, parents!

Through My Husband's Eyes

I downloaded all of Mike's photos from his phone when he changed jobs. 

He never posts, downloads or shows me the photos he takes so it was cool to look back and see the past year through his eyes. (I didn't include the several hundred golf related photos)

Here's a little peak for you:

Pregnant at 20 weeks in Florida

Getting Ready for Baby (yourself)

Before baby comes, here are some things I recommend to prepare yourself (these are my personal opinion, what worked for me!):

-Get a haircut, your regular haircut, a trim, whatever. Trust me you will be happy because time flies by and anything that makes you feel prettier after birth helps you feel better overall.

-Get a nice mani/pedi. You are 38 or 39 weeks pregnant and are incapable of painting your own toes so go ahead and leave it to the professionals:

-Again, I'm going to mention stocking up on all your personal items (shampoo, face wash, body wash, shaving cream, lotion, lipstick, mascara, eye shadow - whatever you use daily); just grab an extra 2 or 3 so you don't have to worry about Target trips with a 8 day old baby.

-Take some nice loooong showers. (I love every minute with baby but I started really appreciating my long showers towards the end of my pregnancy knowing I might not get them after baby). I have showered every single day since Keira was born so it's not like you can't take shower, you'll just be more in "let's get down to business" mode, so relax a little while you can.

-Sleep in. I am very lucky and have a baby that sleeps well and we have a great routine that requires me to be awake for a very short time during the night. However, many moms in my group have babies who wake every two hours. And breastfed babies typically wake during the night until 6-9 months. It's all good and worth it, I'm just saying why not stay in bed a little longer on the weekend while you still can.

-Get yourself a nice supply of postpartum care items, including: 

*Maxi pads of all different sizes. You need about 3 weeks worth. Buy them now. You don't want to send hubby out to get them later. I recommend "U by Kotex".

*Earth mama angel baby new mama bottom spray. Refreshing and cool for when the epigram from the hospital runs out.

*DulcoEase Pink. Take it religiously and avoid those nasty pains in the butt!

*FiberChews. Again, take regularly and you won't have any digestive issues!

-Buy some nursing bras and tops. You won't fully understand the necessity of nursing tops until you wear a regular shirt and you have to pull the whole thing up exposing your postpartum belly. Trust me, nursing tops/tanks are essential to nursing success.

-Dig out your early maternity clothes. Yes you will still look 6 months pregnant when you leave the hospital, but after 2 weeks you'll be much closer in size to the end of your first trimester. Hello again, BellaBand.

-Get a Handsfree headset. While baby is cluster feeding is a great time to catch up with friends and family, but you'll likely still need your hands free to reposition baby, etc.

-Find a new mom support group. I regularly attend breastfeeding support group, new parent support group and postpartum support group. They have helped me tremendously. No one knows what you are going through better than other new moms. 

NOTE: life after baby is amazing. But it's different than life before baby. This post is just meant to make that change easier. You will be fine :-)

Packing for the Hospital

I did a lot of "Googling" and emailing friends about what to bring to the hospital (and when to pack), when you're on your way to deliver your baby.

Here's the list I put together:

Furnishing Baby's "Crib"

Crib has double meaning here, look I'm trying to be funny!

crib-

home, domicile, or dwelling

Dang du...your CRIB is phat YO! (Your house is very pleasing to the eye; Contemporary flare, yet structurally sound. May I have a look around my good man?)

(From Urban Dictionary)

Every young girl dreams of that perfect nursery- full of adorable stuffed animals and pastel colors. Here's some resources that I found helpful when we were looking through ideas for Keira's nursery:

Birth Day

4am- woke up to a strong contraction and as soon as i got out of bed my water broke

5am- arrive hospital, think I'm going to die, they check me and I'm 3cm dilated 

6:30am- finally receive epidural (the best thing in the world!)

39 Weeks

Baby is the Size of a Large Watermelon

She is now 39 weeks old and that means I am totally fine with her making her entrance into this world at any point! Baby girl weighs anywhere from 7 to 8 pounds and measures 19 to 21 inches. Her measurements won't change much from now until delivery date but her brain is still growing.

Pregnancy Books and Apps

When you are pregnant you cannot have enough information about what is going on inside of you. I found these resources helpful and fun. Of course there are other very informative books and Apps out there but these are the ones I found myself going to back to most often.


BOOKS:

The Pregnancy Countdown (via Kindle)

What to Expect When You're Expecting