Cluster F...

Cluster Feeding.

(what did you think I was going to say?)

Originally Posted: 12/09/2013

I did not know much about this special thing until recently.

Cluster feeding (as explained by KellyMom http://kellymom.com/parenting/parenting-faq/fussy-evening/) is:

Cluster feeding, also called bunch feeding, is when babies space feeding closer together at certain times of the day and go longer between feedings at other times. This is very common, and often occurs in the evenings. It’s often -but not always- followed by a longer sleep period than usual: baby may be “tanking up” before a long sleep. For example, your baby may nurse every hour (or even constantly) between 6 and 10 PM, then have a longish stretch of sleep at night – baby may even sleep all night.

Cluster feeding often coincides with your baby’s fussy time. Baby will nurse a few minutes, pull off, fuss/cry, nurse a few minutes, pull off, fuss/cry… on and on… for hours. This can be VERY frustrating, and mom starts wondering if baby is getting enough milk, if something she is eating is bothering baby, if EVERYTHING she is doing is bothering baby… It can really ruin your confidence, particularly if there is someone else around asking the same questions (your mother, your husband, your mother-in-law).

Last night, Keira fed from around 5:30 to 11:30, with no more than 10 minute breaks for mom. I quickly ran to the bathroom and scarfed down dinner while Mike and my SIL, Molly, tried to console Keira while she cried until I returned (with her food!)

At around hour 5.5, I sat in bed crying and reading articles on "how to survive cluster feeding". There's no way to explain or prepare for how insane you start feeling when there is a baby attached to you for 6 hours straight. Eating dinner is no longer feasible and guests who visit in the evenings will only get to see my nursing cover:

KellyMom continues to explain that:

This behavior is NORMAL! It has nothing to do with your breastmilk or your mothering. If baby is happy the rest of the day, and baby doesn’t seem to be in pain (as with colic) during the fussy time – just keep trying to soothe your baby and don’t beat yourself up about the cause. Let baby nurse as long and as often as he will. Recruit dad (or another helper) to bring you food/drink and fetch things (book/remote/phone/etc.) while you are nursing and holding baby.

Does this mean that baby needs more milk than I can provide?

No. Don’t give baby a bottle — supplementation will only tell your body that you need LESS milk at this time, and that will not help matters. Also, keep in mind that formula fed babies experience fussy periods in the evening, too — fussy evenings are common for all young babies, no matter how they are fed. 

So it's all normal and we know she is getting plenty of food, so I just have to survive it! I started attending Breastfeeding Support Group and that helps to just talk it out. For you future mommies out there, remember that breast is best and it will get frustrating but remember that there is all sorts of support out there. For now, I will keep reminding myself!

Article: Postpartum Depression and Disorders, What I Wish I'd Known

You all know that I have postpartum OCD and can totally relate to feeling that same "wait, this isn't depression, so what is it?" feeling when I have my intrusive thoughts.

I hope you all enjoy this article:

http://www.mothering.com/articles/understanding-postpartum-depression-anxiety-wish-id-known-new-mom/

Don't be afraid or embarrassed to get help if you need it. 

One Year Postpartum

My body has now had over a year to recover from pregnancy and childbirth. I would say that it's in a much better place, but some things will just never be the same.

Mentally, I still experience some postpartum OCD, but it's much less. I get anxiety and stress like most new parents. I haven't cried much this year and sometimes I wish I had cried more, to just let everything out. I have had a tendency to let things build up and I have to remind myself that it's not healthy. So every once in a while I have a good old breakdown and open the flood gates...

Emotionally, I love being a mom. More than I imagined. Having Keira in my life is just amazing. Watching her learn and grow and change is like seeing a miracle first hand. My capacity to love has grown and she's made me more compassionate and forgiving just because I want the world to be a better place for her to live in. I like holding her close to me and still love walking with her in the carrier...

The (Baby) Weight is Over!

As they say- nine months on, and nine months off...

Today was the day that I finally reached pre-baby weight!

Gift Ideas for a New Mom

So your friend/daughter/sister/cousin just had a baby and you want to get her something nice and useful. I used to always get flowers, baby clothes, or baby toiletries. As a recent new mom myself, I now know that there are lots of other things that a new mom would love.
(this post contains Affiliate Links)

Here are some ideas for that special new mom in your life:

Lactation Cookies

Cookies are delicious, they help your milk supply, and give you energy/calories you need to take care of baby!
I recommend: MilkMakers Cookies.

Two and Two

I lost two pounds in May and have two more to lose to be back at my pre-pregnancy weight. Maybe it's true that it takes nine months to put it on AND take it off!

I've been eating healthier, cooking more, walking tons, and wearing baby. I wore out my sneakers- there are actually holes in them. 

Five Months passed, Five Pounds left

It's been a little over 5 months since Keira's birth (and my most dramatic daily weight loss!). The pounds have been slowly coming off since then but I still have 5 left to lose.

I just joined an awesome group called Moms Run This Town (MRTT)- it's a Facebook group for local moms to get together and walk and/or run. I haven't got back into running yet but I did go for a 4-mile brisk walk with two other moms this week. I am hoping that this group will help me get my weekly exercise up.

I've also started doing a little bit of weight lifting at home. Keira thinks it's hilarious and some of the other (non weight) exercises even include her! 

I'm also still dairy free (Keira has a sensitivity in it that may last up to 9 months). This has helped not eat junk food because most baked goods and a lot of processed and bad-for-you foods contain dairy. 

My goal is to be back at pre-pregnancy weight (135) by the official start of summer- mid June. I definitely need to fit (comfortably) in my work clothes by September because I will be working again and refuse to buy new work clothes!

Hopefully I will get back into the 130's soon- I miss seeing that on the scale. Soon enough!

Beyond Postpartum Depression (Postpartum Anxiety and OCD)

When I was pregnant, I read it in all the books, heard my doctors speech about it- and just thought

"I'm fine, that won't happen to me"

Everyone talks about postpartum depression, even celebrities get it (thanks for your honesty, Brook Shields). I recall my cousin's friend talking about it when I was visiting for her baby shower- it sounded terrible, but the friend did get help and was able to recover. So I was on the lookout for depression, even though I was convinced it wouldn't happen to me.

Soon after baby was delivered I started worrying, a lot. And when we got home,  I worried even more. I couldn't stand the idea of sharp objects in the same room as the baby because I was convinced se would get hurt. I didn't want to take her near our balcony because I thought she would fall off. Then something even worse happened- I thought that since I was worrying so much and could even visualize these things happening, I started thinking that maybe I was a mentally ill person who would hurt their own baby. I mentally tortured myself thinking how much I loved my baby and how could I possibly be thinking these things. It wasn't getting any better and I felt like my brain was constantly battling itself. I was sure I would need to be checked into a mental institution, I cried thinking I would be taken away from my baby. I wasn't depressed, that wasn't it- this wasn't what the books and doctors described. On a long shot, I decided to google  my symptoms and see what came up- and I found this checklist:

You may have postpartum anxiety or postpartum OCD if you have had a baby within the last 12 months and are experiencing some of these symptoms:

Your thoughts are racing. You can’t quiet your mind. You can’t settle down. You can’t relax.

You feel like you have to be doing something at all times. Cleaning bottles. Cleaning baby clothes. 

Cleaning the house. Doing work. Entertaining the baby. Checking on the baby.

You are worried. Really worried.  All. The. Time.  Am I doing this right?  Will my husband come home from his trip?  Will the baby wake up? Is the baby eating enough? Is there something wrong with my baby that I’m missing? No matter what anyone says to reassure you it doesn’t help.

Crazy, Sweaty and Bald

We've all seen the pregnancy side effects- nausea, thick hair and nails, and growing belly. But the postpartum side effects seem to be less widely known. I'm here to tell you a little bit about them.

Let's start with the title of this post:

-Crazy. Everyone talks about postpartum depression, but there are lots of other feelings brought on by postpartum hormones- especially anxiety! I thought I was going crazy but turns out it isotally normal and part of postpartum anxiety and postpartum OCD. Many moms I've talked to have these affects and were so confused by them because all doctors had told them to look out for was depression. I hear so many times "I'm not depressed, but I feel crazy! I can't stop worrying! I have crazy terrible thoughts that scare the crap out of me; but since I'm not depressed it must not be de to paotpartum". Well, it is. Hormones can do some really whack things to your brain I've learned. The more educated you are about what to possibly expect, the sooner you'll recognize it for what it is and easier you can treat yourself. Sleep, eating right (lots of protein), regular hygiene, mindful thinking and exercise can work wonders.

Getting Ready for Baby (yourself)

Before baby comes, here are some things I recommend to prepare yourself (these are my personal opinion, what worked for me!):

-Get a haircut, your regular haircut, a trim, whatever. Trust me you will be happy because time flies by and anything that makes you feel prettier after birth helps you feel better overall.

-Get a nice mani/pedi. You are 38 or 39 weeks pregnant and are incapable of painting your own toes so go ahead and leave it to the professionals:

-Again, I'm going to mention stocking up on all your personal items (shampoo, face wash, body wash, shaving cream, lotion, lipstick, mascara, eye shadow - whatever you use daily); just grab an extra 2 or 3 so you don't have to worry about Target trips with a 8 day old baby.

-Take some nice loooong showers. (I love every minute with baby but I started really appreciating my long showers towards the end of my pregnancy knowing I might not get them after baby). I have showered every single day since Keira was born so it's not like you can't take shower, you'll just be more in "let's get down to business" mode, so relax a little while you can.

-Sleep in. I am very lucky and have a baby that sleeps well and we have a great routine that requires me to be awake for a very short time during the night. However, many moms in my group have babies who wake every two hours. And breastfed babies typically wake during the night until 6-9 months. It's all good and worth it, I'm just saying why not stay in bed a little longer on the weekend while you still can.

-Get yourself a nice supply of postpartum care items, including: 

*Maxi pads of all different sizes. You need about 3 weeks worth. Buy them now. You don't want to send hubby out to get them later. I recommend "U by Kotex".

*Earth mama angel baby new mama bottom spray. Refreshing and cool for when the epigram from the hospital runs out.

*DulcoEase Pink. Take it religiously and avoid those nasty pains in the butt!

*FiberChews. Again, take regularly and you won't have any digestive issues!

-Buy some nursing bras and tops. You won't fully understand the necessity of nursing tops until you wear a regular shirt and you have to pull the whole thing up exposing your postpartum belly. Trust me, nursing tops/tanks are essential to nursing success.

-Dig out your early maternity clothes. Yes you will still look 6 months pregnant when you leave the hospital, but after 2 weeks you'll be much closer in size to the end of your first trimester. Hello again, BellaBand.

-Get a Handsfree headset. While baby is cluster feeding is a great time to catch up with friends and family, but you'll likely still need your hands free to reposition baby, etc.

-Find a new mom support group. I regularly attend breastfeeding support group, new parent support group and postpartum support group. They have helped me tremendously. No one knows what you are going through better than other new moms. 

NOTE: life after baby is amazing. But it's different than life before baby. This post is just meant to make that change easier. You will be fine :-)

Getting Ready for Baby (your house)

Besides getting all the baby supplies ready (bassinet, diapers and clean clothes), there are some other things I recommend doing to get your house ready for bringing home baby.

You will be distracted, tired and uninterested in anything but your sweet new baby. 

So you may to want to:

-stock up on your favorite non-perishable foods (PB&J, cereal, oatmeal, beef jerky, sparkling water); whatever you can eat easily (you may be eating while breastfeeding)

-stock up on disposable plates, napkins, forks, knives, spoons, cups and straws (if you like a tidy house, it's easier to throw everything in the trash than load and unload a dishwasher)

-stock up on paper towels, soap, shampoo, toilet paper, your favorite soap, lipstick, nail polish, etc (it's not that you won't be able to go to the store but you just don't want to worry about that kind of stuff)

-consider getting a cleaning service to come either every two weeks or once a month (take a break, get out of the house and come back to everything all clean!)

-declutter as much as possible. We live in a fairly small condo and I knew I would feel like the walls were closing in on us if we had all our crap plus everything that comes along with baby. We got rid of a bunch of clutter and left a few shelves and bins completely empty knowing that they would like up quickly! 

-if you have a pet, you may want to set up all your baby stuff early, periodically turn on that bouncy seat, or play with that doll that plays music, get your stroller out, let your pet get used to all the stuff so when baby arrives he is only getting used to baby, not all baby's gear and baby!

I know that these seem pretty basic but they totally saved us and made the first month much eaier to just focus on what is important- baby!

Breastfeeding Essentials

Breastfeeding isn't the eaisest thing in the world but there are lots of great products out there that make it much easier so you can have a more enjoyable experience while feeding your little one, and it can be such a wonderful experience so please take advantage of these so that you can enjoy the bonding time!

Here are my personal favorites:

Boppy pillow

Balboa Baby pillow

12 Days Postpartum

12 days later and I'm almost feeling back to normal, well it's a new normal - one that includes sleeping only in 3 hour (maximum) segments, and learning to make oatmeal while breastfeeding - but it  is my new normal and I like it.

My body has changed drastically in the past two weeks-

Pounds lost: 19

Pounds left to lose: 9

8 Days PostPartum

Today is my first day on my own. So far, so good. I fed baby, showered, then we all went for a nice "long" walk like I used to do before 32 weeks and walking got more difficult.